A story of a girl

For abagil

Fears of disappointment Can more distractive then the actual disappointment

I had such a fear is a child of disappointing my parents are good God loving people.

Not just the kind that went to church every Sunday but the client actually carried him in their hearts.

I think my fathers Fonda dream was to see all his child. Was to see us Dedicate Ourselves to christ.

When I was 10 years old I witnessed my brother and sisters getting baptized.

There were quite a bit older than me I so desperately want to the proud of it. But my mother and father said I was not old enough to make that commitment that decision I didn’t understand at the time.

And my child’s mind I seen it as a way of being unworthy.

I was over developed girls for 10 so as time went on in my early pre-teens thanks so what would happen that will keep me from this as I go older.

Would’ve been baptized saved me from the next 10 years of my life Probably not.

For a few months after that my life would never be the same. That summer while walking with my friends we get chased by a group of boys. My friends and I got separated and they Caught me alone in path. Weather raped or not they take all my power held me down and striped me of my clothes while fought as hard as my 10 year self could fight. Then begged them to let me go the. Something snapped in side me From that second I shut off . So I invent they just let me go, true or not it did not matter. I did not tell a soul what happened that day.

So instead the gossip spread that I was a slut and what followed was more Destructive them day in the woods.

But after these things the fear of disappointing and being the sinner or slut shamed for being naive and And extremely gullible.

The Torment and torture I experienced every day from the time I walked in the school bus to the time I walked off was in stable.

My mother said don’t let on that it bothers you just play along.

I didn’t tell her the things that they were saying, and I must say I didn’t really know what it meant but I knew it was something nasty.

The til after fact on the outside letting on it in care what they said or just going along with it like my mother had told me but the toll of being treated like a slut and talk to and that way shut myself confidence never recovered.

At 13 at five I am up with an older man( 25) Whoever been so kind to me. Being a good man he it for Syd no interest in a 13 old so as it interest,

so he deflection he help me give my life to Christ I said the words to the prayer but I’m off but my heart still far off.

But I thing it saved my life from that day on I belong need to Christ and I start a life long spiritual Journey and soul spiritual growth through Christ with many twist and turns but always in my darkest hours I’ve turn to him and he has give me strength.

Not through church case of felt I didn’t fit in n anywhere let alone be good enough. I bit of a social odd ball to say the least.

Finally after a lifetime of time Of fear disappointment fair and to disappoint my father very disappointed my father who is in heaven

Most of all fearing to disappoint Jesus and myself by faltering after I committed myself again.

after a lifetime of trying to connect to Christ I found it in meditation with him.


Just a few Health benefits of marijuanaiu

The medical benefits of pot is just started to be realized. We already know:

Marijuana kills cancer cells continue to suppress the information so the cannabis prohibited.

THC that targets cannabinoid receptors HEB.

In CBDs there is similar in function that actually produced cbds in the body and activate these receptors.

Researcher suggest that THC or other designer agents that activate these receptors might be used in a targeted fashion to treat lung cancer.

Tourette’s syndrome Tourette’s syndrome is in your logical condition characterized by uncontrollable facial grimaces and other symptoms.

Hanover medical College in Germany could investigate if you affects Marijuana in 12 adult Tourette’s patients produced significant reduction in symptoms for several hours compared to placebo or the normal Pharmaceutical treatments.

Researchers report number three is a muscle relaxing and has anti-spasmodic qualities have proven to be a very effective treatment.

actually countless cases of people suffering from seizures been able to function better through the use of marijuana

doctors have reported that they have been able to treat more than 300,000 cases of migraines then through conventional medication.

glaucoma treatment of glaucoma has been one of the best documented.

there isn’t a single valid study that exists that describe very powerful and popular affects on glaucoma patients.

multiple sclerosis facts on multiple sclerosis patients came back to documented on a talk show host Montel Williams is marijuana wax to stop the neurologically facts and muscle spasms that come from the fatal disease a well-documented USA.

study’s done about a years ago despite what you may have heard about it .

the Scripps Institute in 2006 THC found in marijuana works to prevent Alzheimer’s by blocking the deposits in the brain that causes the disease.

It’s just like marijuana is used to treat IBS and can be used to treat cramps and discomfort that causes PMS symptoms using marijuana for PMS actually goes all the way back to queen Victoria

And that is just to name a few there’s also Parkinson’s arthritis attention deficit syndrome And Alzheimer’s



Beginners guide to Cannabis and oils

Did you know There Is only three different strains of marijuana. There’s indica. sativa And And hybrid which is And Combination of the two prior strains.

Indica is a relax and full body effects. They grow in a harsher climate and are shorter and bushier they have higher resin production,and shorter grow time which makes them ideal for inside growing.

Most Prefer this for night or evening use. Good for pain and aids in sleep

Sativa is uplifting cerebral and good for creativity.

Sativa grows taller and bushier more suited for out said growth and has a longer grow season.

This is preferred as a day time treatment. Aids good for ADD and depression.

Hybrids Are more customized for effects.


There two active ingredient are CBDs And THC And the medical benefits of these two thing are changing everything researchers are just getting started.

CBDS aid in our bodies internal Balance ours system, and are produced naturally in our bodies.

We actually have the Canniboid Receptor Or bodies.

Think of all body connected and balanced by a series of baby mobiles all connected to the other. If one system is out whack it knock the rest on the mobile off balance.

When medicated for a particular pharmaceutical it treat the symptoms not the unbalance. CBDs balances the body system (or mobile)

CBDS aids Neurotransmitters in our nervous system

Hormones that run our endocrine system like insulin which is control a hormones

and and or cytokines that run our Immune system.

CBD modulate the transcriptions of over 1100 genes that make the signalling molecules that and actually reduce inflammation in our central nervous system and throughout our immune system restoring homeostasis to both.

Our central nervous system’s so up regulates the genes that create anti-inflammatory bio chemicals for our immune system and up regulates the gap a system in our central nervous system which brings us to Balance.

amatory bio chemicals in our unit system and also system in our central nervous system which causes over anxiousness.

CBD cascade of homeostasis through our central nervous system and immune system.



Cana pass

Well I was recently prescribed cannabis for my arthritis pain and side effects of my ADD medication. and set me all up within a day or so I got a A email from this company, all of this was done by for free for me,by the way by <national access cannabis. > the one I was too was located on Spring Garden Road and Halifax. The only issue I really had was when I was told that I can only legally buy it from licensed producer that is located in Ontario, I’m in Nova Scotia But I said well I would like to support local businesses in my area well they exist. Not realizing that the licensed producer in Ontario product which cost me sometimes it’s three times as much as the local dispensary will. For the therapeutic oils that I require. Knowing full well the governments plan to shut down all the dispensaries that I’ve opened up so they can give a monopoly seem to Sobey’s and screw all of the little guys over.

Our Nova Scotia government at work for you. I have to say that my faith Evan has been shaken in our government. Not just for that reason it is because of the corruption that is so widespread and encompassing. Though I am happy that marijuana is finally being legalized at some future point I am very disappointed in the way that the Nova Scotia government has kicked all it’s small businesses and the guts doing it.

Meditation aids?


When I started this blog I just get into acting affiliate marketing I bought into some scheme get rich quick you know was desperate couldn’t pay my rent one afford or to buy groceries. But I took 50 bucks of my hard earned money I sent it to this affillate thing they said all within a couple weeks so if you can extra $500 month.
But luckily there is a 60 day guarantee on that products two weeks and I realize that this was bullshit I was going to do this I could do it without them. But I wrote for my money back.
and I’ve been into meditation and energy healing and spirituality for a long time ever since my spell depression but will get to that.
So the first website I made was just like somebody threw up ads all over page. What’s the next one I made was a little more organized not much original content a couple different rid of side its YouTube videos on top except is self defense in survival tips and a lot of medication and sell tell videos along if you natural medicine don’t want to want to be in front of a camera I borrowed some from youtube , I’n retrospect I probably should have viewed all the way through you know ADD getter done. Connect2divine. And another one call
But half the links I got for products wouldnt work.
Drove my coworkers and Facebook friends crazy just following the steps
Set out for me in utube videos.
So I had moved on to some topic important to me but I never did make a cent first or last but I did reread discover my joy for writing . I started went out when I was a young younger I started many novels being the way my mind works my mind works faster than my hand could write . my writing was atrocious my spelling and punctuation even worse as you could tell it is not much better. It was always too embarrassed 2 show anyone my story’s . another problem that I wanted to write fantastical fantasy stories but my imagination going and in to many direction .I couldn’t get all the ideas down quick enough.

I read somewhere to write what you know so when I originally started this blog
It was a means to an end to get traffic to my sites but after writing my first blog are members how much I loved writing and maybe nobody will read it and but even if one or two people if it helps anyone I’ve decided to share my journey so am I self-conscious backwards country bumpkin which I still am but the wisdom I have been granted that has helped me along the way maybe there’s one person just want even that might help them

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standing together even when we are alone


finally maybe the world is ready to face the truth on how women have been sexually mistreated since the beginning of time. we pretended our Modern Age these things aren’t as bad anymore that we are all guilty of having these things done to us and keeping them to ourselves.

#me too has changed all that this is to support all the women, and that’s probably all of u.s I just have been in a situation either sex was forced upon us or we were groped inappropriately or talk to you in a sexual manner.

that made us feel comfortable I am confident saying as a woman that there’s not one of us that has not experienced one of these things .

we may not be able to stop these things from happening to us that we can change the way we react to them. it is not our shame but we carry it like it is it’s time for us to stand up as one.

Put the shame and blame where it belongs and not on ourselves or each other. We as women can need go support each other more. Teach our duaghters to be femanise more inportantly teach our sons to be femanise.