Why we get depressed

Buds2go

Depression: it seems to sneak up on me I tried to hold it up back,but it always comes back especially when I have overwhelming problems.

that I don’t know how to solve. tried to put them out of my mind I try to dive into some new project or thing to learn and I always have a smile on

my face when I’m around other people some sometimes I wonder how they cannot feel the pain or see it on my face but most the time they cannot

my cover isn’t blown. Of being happy go lucky person that likes to laugh and joke around but if I do enjoy those things.
Alot of times it’s a cover.And it is almost impossible for anyone that has never been through any sort of spell of depression for them to

understand they are either unwilling or just and cannot comprehend the pain hurt we feel. I cannot speak for all victims of depression

and I do not know if we I’ll have the same triggers the best “stinking thinking”yhat feeds our depression. I only can relay my thoughts and

feelings on it.and what feed mine, other people feed mine and away I am an empath I pick up one negativity and anger and I turn it on myself,

because I am not the sort of person or I try never to be the takes my emotional state or so I thought. My doctor told me to Larry day like it’s

your last and if it was your last day alive i would you care what other people thought. At first I wasn’t sure if she was trying to tell me I was

dying of something. Then I realized no doesn’t matter what people think I know that in my head but my heart doesn’t seem to be able to tell the difference weather the pain is fantasy or reality.
4 years I just shut it off wouldn’t let anyone in close the doors to my heart fear they would hurt me I wear my heart on my sleeve I always have people seem to either see that as a weakness or something to exploit.in my experience.
About 15 years ago I had a depression that took me 5 years to help myself photos and in the end it’s not that I solved and it my problem I just keep picking too busy to focus on them I was working and going to school and once my depression lifted I swore I would never let myself get in that state again I felt it coming on I would do something to change my life. At the time of my depression I did not think it affected anyone but myself I had two young children 12:,girlthe other one was 8 boy
I very much try to stay positive around and ultimately failed. My lowest point I would fantasize about getting in the tub and slitting my wrists but at the end of my fantasy who would find me my kids so that always put a put a damper on the whole idea. That and the fact that I do not believe in suicide as a core value life is a gift whether we feel like it is or not. Around 2 or 3 years into my profession found out my daughter it started cutting herself immediately I by myself but somehow my fantasies of suicide had rubbed off on her that I was to blame for these behaviors because that is what I do I take everything negative and I put it on myself I blame myself for things I have nothing to do with me maybe in some small way I may be responsible for but I put it on myself that is my fault no matter what it is and so do other people like to blame me for the things they do mostly because I’m a A.D.D   and we are easy scapegoat . they probably did not realize the damage they do to me . internally maybe they just don’t care. and if I was in healthy mind set it might not affect be at all but instead in my darkest moments. I suck it all in hold it there.
My depression usually is by others or situation I blame myself for, I always thought by something inside of myself holds on o it and internalize it, holds it there Fester’s than grows to an all-consuming black goo of mental Anguish or that’s the picture I visualize.

I just hope by reading people will start to understand the mind of a depressed person and realize the pain they feel is every bit as real I saw someone reaching in and cutting out your . Pain is as real as any physical pain but you can take a time out for physical please what do you take for mental pain and depressants my experience with them or less than I do they either made me Placid that I didn’t care what anybody did or said or what happened to me or they made me too assertive or too aggressive and if you knew me you would know that is the furthest thing from my personality. So if you know someone who has periodic or maybe constant depression be kind don’t think they can just snap out of it cuz I can and if they do it’s a show for you it’s not a real recovery. After I came out of my depression I came to the realization depression is a selfish emotion you are so self-involved you think everything about your hurt and you can’t see past your own pain. Other peoples laughing and joking sometimes feels like there laughing at you weather they are or not .
Please don’t give up on us. We are the sensitive Souls the painters poets the writers the comedian and the most compassionate when we’re not sucked down that hole of depression. we are what makes us human being a beautiful beings in the eye  of  unversal god  but we also suffer internally we are the people when we can get it together who make a difference in this world when were not too busy feeling sorry for ourselves feeling misunderstood or alone when we can get past those traumatic feelings we have a most wonderful gifts for Humanity for this world because it is for  our us our creator has created that we are his vehicles in which love spread throughout the world but first we have to learn to love ourselves truly

But if I told you the cure for depression for any sort of disease for all all mental and physical pain that I knew the Cure you tDepression: it seems to sneak up on me I tried to hold it up back,but it always comes back especially when I have overwhelming problems. that I don’t know how to solve. tried to put them out of my mind I try to dive into some new project or thing to learn and I always have a smile on my face when I’m around other people some sometimes I wonder how they cannot feel the pain or see it on my face but most the time they cannot my cover isn’t blown. Of being happy go lucky person that likes to laugh and joke around but if I do enjoy those things.
Alot of times it’s a cover.
And it is almost impossible for anyone that has never been through any sort of spell of depression for them to understand they are either unwilling or just and cannot comprehend the pain hurt we feel. I cannot speak for all victims of depression and I do not know if we I’ll have the same triggers the best “stinking thinking”yhat feeds our depression. I only can relay my thoughts and feelings on it.and what feed mine, other people feed mine and away I am an empath I pick up one negativity and anger and I turn it on myself, because I am not the sort of person or I try never to be the takes my emotional state or so I thought. My doctor told me to Larry day like it’s your last and if it was your last day alive i would you care what other people thought. At first I wasn’t sure if she was trying to tell me I was dying of something. Then I realized no doesn’t matter what people think I know that in my head but my heart doesn’t seem to be able to tell the difference weather the pain is fantasy or reality.
4 years I just shut it off wouldn’t let anyone in close the doors to my heart fear they would hurt me I wear my heart on my sleeve I always have people seem to either see that as a weakness or something to exploit.in my experience.
About 15 years ago I had a depression that took me 5 years to help myself photos and in the end it’s not that I solved and it my problem I just keep picking too busy to focus on them I was working and going to school and once my depression lifted I swore I would never let myself get in that state again I felt it coming on I would do something to change my life. At the time of my depression I did not think it affected anyone but myself I had two young children 12:,girlthe other one was 8 boy
I very much try to stay positive around and ultimately failed. My lowest point I would fantasize about getting in the tub and slitting my wrists but at the end of my fantasy who would find me my kids so that always put a put a damper on the whole idea. That and the fact that I do not believe in suicide as a core value life is a gift whether we feel like it is or not. Around 2 or 3 years into my profession found out my daughter it started cutting herself immediately I by myself but somehow my fantasies of suicide had rubbed off on her that I was to blame for these behaviors because that is what I do I take everything negative and I put it on myself I blame myself for things I have nothing to do with me maybe in some small way I may be responsible for but I put it on myself that is my fault no matter what it is and so do other people people like to blame me for the things they do mostly because I’m a personal add and I’m an easy scapegoat they probably did not realize the damage they do to me . internally maybe they just don’t care and if I was in healthy mind set it might not affect be at all but instead in my darkest moments I suck it all in hold it there.
My depression usually is by others or situation I blame myself for, I always thought by something inside of myself holds on o it and internalize it, holds it there Fester’s than grows to an all-consuming black goo of mental Anguish. or that’s the picture I visualize.
I just hope by readiness people will start to understand the mind of a depressed person and realize the pain they feel is every bit as real I saw someone reaching in and cutting out your . Pain is as real as any physical pain but you can take a time out for physical please what do you take for mental pain

anti depressants in my experience with them or less than ideal ,  they either made me Placid that I didn’t care what anybody did or said or what happened to me or they made me too assertive or too aggressive and if you knew me you would know that is the furthest thing from my personality. So if you know someone who has periodic or maybe constant depression be kind don’t think they can just snap out of it cuz I can and if they do it’s a show for you it’s not a real recovery. After I came out of my depression I came to the realization depression is a selfish emotion you are so self-involved you think everything about your hurt and you can’t see past your own pain. Other peoples laughing and joking sometimes feels like there laughing at you weather they are or not .
Please don’t give up on us.
hink I was crazy maybe I am just doesn’t make it any less true the root of all Humanities evil humanities  equities and the cause of all physical and mental pain was :

lack of love each other our selves and until we learn how to love ourselves truly and who we truly are who we truly are and what our true purpose is once you start living for those two reasons depression will no longer exist along with a great many other humanities problems

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Must do to rule your reality

Do what you love make a list of things that you love to do I would love too do.

It is easy to fail at things immediately but impossible to fail at things you love doing.

Let go of all judgements if you want to be rich but you think rich people are snobs you have to let her go if you think money is the root of all evil and you probably will never be rich that was my biggest problem.

you have to view it where is the tool to what you really want doesn’t matter really where comes from it will materialize when you do what you love.

1. Take 100% responsibility for your life and your choices.

2. Give up complaining

3. Give up your excuseAll the reasons you’re ou think you can have what you want, there is none.

4. One hour of positive visualize a day. Mind power

Acceptance without judgement

5. Be exact

6. Make a list Goals

7. Act on inspirations when ever positive .

8. Make a irrattion list and then fix them.

9. Imprint your wanted reality as it already exist

21 days change your thoughts change your world ??

In to your mind

I AM

Making a positive different for others

Create Coalition of souls willing to speak join together and meditative prayer , for an hour a day to visualize positive route changes through sending love and energy through positive intent.

happy

have others mediatate world save prayer unite

spiritual untie in pure love with souls from god , holy angels in the Christ name.

To see and talk to holy angels and beings

Learn Spanish

Have five at least close spiritual friends.

Finical freedom

Be successful writer and author

Make 54000 this month April 31 2018 month Every month

helping others. Spiritually connect

Comune with spiritual family In all states of being

Travel the world

Meditate at all ancient site.

Gain wisdom and knowlegde and understanding share it to those willing.

Facts first

Did you know there’s approximately 360000 babies born per day and 15000 each hour and half of us die each day 7500 of us a hour. Most of us oblivius to their next destination.

Or that there’s approximately 100 billion stars being born and dying each day each.

These numbers are staggering even unimaginable. Can we said that we would be the only intelligent being

In the universe little own the most intelligent.

What truly is amazing size of our ego’s.

Did you know that there’s a star system named triangulum it is considered a spiritual place my attention was first brought to it was utube videos called” the forever time” (must watch) 7 to 8 hour long eye open information and theories.

Knowledge of the forever time 1 – 7: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1qOvaw1dNaO7qQK_3AdRYPvBrz75qt9-

Truth if we don’t care who will

https://www.humancondition.com/transformation/

Ways ways to change the world to change yourself changing the world one

where do I start I guess 1969 year of the moon landing supposedly, the year of Woodstock, the year we all start lying to ourselves.and become sheep and closed our eyes to the corruption that spread and took root.
evolve and spread rear its ugly head and call itself globalization.

so totally did it take over in the next few decades unbeknownst to most except for the ones that were directly involved.

Oh and the year I was born so I don’t personal remember those events
But now it is time to wake up people everyone thinks they can’t change the world but if nobody even trys what happens is on us if we do nothing .
Maybe nobody will read this maybe no body will care enough to do more the send it a like .
But it is my responsiblity to tell you to wake up.
It not to late soon.You will be lucky if you have time to ask for forgiveness, or to bend over and kid your ass good bye.
So if your are reading this it not to late for you to wake up and stand with me. not for me , but for
You and your children and there children, the world’s children .

If we do not take our head out of our collective cell phone long enough to actually do anything
Oh well we like it on Facebook we are super environmentalist are nt we.

This this is the moment of truth . Do you want to be the generation of the frog o. A slow boil and that be kind
Put aside Al difference religion country or skin color it will not matter.
The web of lies the that spread after World War II you do realize right all NASA’s scientists we’re Nazis scientistthat some deal became American citizens not to stop being nazis they infiltrated highs level of government hidden in plan site .Have you noticed. In last 68 years the families in politics in power are all connected not just i North America all over the world the secret society’s and Conspiracy theories are Based on . If one thread of truth although twisted enough that No one person or group could unravel it .

The existence of aliens hundreds of aliens and ufo and they degrade, demoralize,or down rite discredit

thousands and thousands of people, Eyewitnesses, There’s been hundreds of thousands of people go missing each year in the United States alone no explanation but it wasn’t aliens. there’s been secrecy bs or secrecy lies and More lies .

In United States alone each day millions disappear off the face of the earth.

and just took a tiny thread of each one of you started to unravel and share the truth would be there for all of us to see.

would still get a pretty big web of lies don’t get me started on PutinFor some reason more corrupt the more we suck it up accept the laws all I’m asking is for each and everyone of you to be honest their self look at the facts and you tell me the world’s not gone to hell in a handbasket

We are soon at the time of The Perfect Storm events and instead of stockpiling food like survivals to we should be stopping our spirituality and learn to develop and evolve into what we were always meant to be
Your beliefs unimportant are all in this together whether you believe you have a soul or does not lesson its power. (not my son’s )(that’s was typed there by word prediction or some other force i left it )
just does not receive the same spiritual protection as those actualized Souls only one because it is not asked for
But we all live in this planet together
Stand up to corruption, March
write letters , help a Stanger on a bus

But must importantly open your spiritual centre and let go of fears believe in yourselves as you where meant to be servant to each other and your planet to

It time to stand for something have you ever put off making a. Decision just to have it made. For. You and than youre pissed off at the results but you try to blame it on the
Someone else but down deep you know it your own fault for not doing anything .to change it
Well that is where we sit teetering on the edge with our heads still up our collective asses or lulled into helpless fear self doubt. Instead of stand for truth.

Everyone want to change the world and lose hope when the realize you can’t but what you fail to Realize is that you Had the Power all along to change. Everything important and by. Finding others that are like minded

If consciousness as powerful as they say and the universal energy we all weld with love in our intent. Who know what we could accomplish

Really ways to change the world

https:www.ubuntuplanet.org

Who’s manifesting your destiny (connect the dots with me )

https://youtu.be/kAU0xOqop_s

This is valuable information how are alphabet is in sync with sacred drawing how exactly to decode it as more knowledge than I have

but I will investigate and let you know but I find out

Is this what is meant by other words for the valuable .will they determine life brings us please figure out the value of each symbol will be better be able to understand manifest these are questions I do not know the answer to yet.

However there are some steps to manifest the station that I do know or accurate one is the I am meditation,

The idea or the concept we are all the source in the source is all us that we are all connected through our souls to be one United body in God.

Today another ways they say is to change your vibration by changing your emotions to those positive ones rather than negative love rather than hate feeling abundance rather than lack seeing the source and all others

Being grateful and thankful for what you have and dont have

Being able to visualize what you want and keep it in your mind to like it it’s all yours

Believe in yourself 4th believe in yourself believe in your intuition just believe faith is the starting point and taking action

Trusting yourself trusting your path believing you can do what you are meant to

Giving others what you want for yourself

Leaving it up to the universe on how these things will manifest

Realizing the universe is always in motion being cleaning your idea of what you want of your visualization of it being yours

Feeling at peace with your life as it is and accepting it and accepting Who You Are and loving you yourself for your Treasures and your faults

Cause and effect realizing you are responsible for the good and the bad in your life by attracting it to yourself by the way you’re thinking or feeling you can change Us by remembering put love and and understanding towards others first and foremost your mind

Last but certainly not least remembering reality is your perception most the time. the hurt you feel in life you do to yourself by your perceptions of reality. (this person doesn’t like me ,that persons talking about me ,maybe this person hurt my feelings . Feeling victomize is something you allow self to feel.these are all things we do to ourselves for it does not matter what others think of us it is matters what we think of ourselves)seek inner truth through deep meditation

These are some things you should be aware of while you’re trying to manifest your own reality. In this method. You need to. Write a ever changing list. Of want you want in your life. You must be exact picture it. Warning be careful this is powerful. Always want positive.

updated I just found this. on alchemy I’m am sure it all ties togeather..

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Meditation aids?

https://youtu.be/2ZNKJfNF43o

When I started this blog I just get into acting affiliate marketing I bought into some scheme get rich quick you know was desperate couldn’t pay my rent one afford or to buy groceries. But I took 50 bucks of my hard earned money I sent it to this affillate thing they said all within a couple weeks so if you can extra $500 month.
But luckily there is a 60 day guarantee on that products two weeks and I realize that this was bullshit I was going to do this I could do it without them. But I wrote for my money back.
and I’ve been into meditation and energy healing and spirituality for a long time ever since my spell depression but will get to that.
So the first website I made was just like somebody threw up ads all over page. What’s the next one I made was a little more organized not much original content a couple different rid of side its YouTube videos on top except is self defense in survival tips and a lot of medication and sell tell videos along if you natural medicine don’t want to want to be in front of a camera I borrowed some from youtube , I’n retrospect I probably should have viewed all the way through you know ADD getter done. Connect2divine. And another one call
gogreencanada
But half the links I got for products wouldnt work.
Drove my coworkers and Facebook friends crazy just following the steps
Set out for me in utube videos.
So I had moved on to some topic important to me but I never did make a cent first or last but I did reread discover my joy for writing . I started went out when I was a young younger I started many novels being the way my mind works my mind works faster than my hand could write . my writing was atrocious my spelling and punctuation even worse as you could tell it is not much better. It was always too embarrassed 2 show anyone my story’s . another problem that I wanted to write fantastical fantasy stories but my imagination going and in to many direction .I couldn’t get all the ideas down quick enough.

I read somewhere to write what you know so when I originally started this blog
It was a means to an end to get traffic to my sites but after writing my first blog are members how much I loved writing and maybe nobody will read it and but even if one or two people if it helps anyone I’ve decided to share my journey so am I self-conscious backwards country bumpkin which I still am but the wisdom I have been granted that has helped me along the way maybe there’s one person just want even that might help them along their way.

although I work full time I had a physically and mentally challenged in job I care for the elderly I have looked care of other people all my life for 26 years now.
I could do my job in my sleep I think some days I might .and that was one thing I found it was a challenge for my brain something to challenge my brain affiliate. marketing certainly did that but unfortunately it was such a challenge how many steps to follow. But I think I will stick with the blog in I enjoy that and I might float throw in the occasional that I think might be beneficial to what I’m talking about something I would like to try or something I have tried I would like to try it I ayahuasca .
I tried to make Montonic gold or ornaments I don’t know if I actually succeeded or not try to eat it but it didn’t taste very good so I would advise if you want to try ormus maybe buy some so you know what it looks like before try to make some so least you know what you’re supposed to have in the ant that was a October’s project.
This is my personality I find something that interests me I go Full Speed Ahead learn everything I can study it talk about it what not until I’ve learned all I can learn or decided that I suck at it and go to the next .
hopefully I will stick with my writing even if it doesn’t become a popular blog or hardly anyone reads it maybe they’ll be one person that will be able to take something from it that helps and then I know I have served my purpose .

. My purpose to be a spiritual personal coach to people who need guidence on there journey or just someone to bounce there revalations off . No two people journey is exactly the same , our destination is the same.

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J…ourney

J…ourneyIn this life before we can become the the Spiritual Beings we’re meant to be, there are many things inside ourselves that we have to
face and deal with. we need to know what are the things that are holding us back from realizing our true potential
there’s always been something holding us back from realizing this in ancient days the ability to survive it is said that you have to have all your means of survival Shelter food water basic needs a survival meant before you even can entertain the idea of who you truly are. in those parts of the world we have those things Meant For Us so what is holding us back I’m discovering your true potential as human beings?
could it be those little devices that we hold on her hand and stare at all the time that we think we cannot live without? we are supposed to be the most connected generation ever but what we are the most disconnected from each other, disconnected from our souls. we are also busy watching funny cat videos , to see the person standing rite next to it little own help or service to them which is our true purpose in life to be of service to others to help each other to Guided each other. and this is what I am dedicating this website to potenal

standing together even when we are alone

https://youtu.be/ye_lhhSALmI

finally maybe the world is ready to face the truth on how women have been sexually mistreated since the beginning of time. we pretended our Modern Age these things aren’t as bad anymore that we are all guilty of having these things done to us and keeping them to ourselves.

#me too has changed all that this is to support all the women, and that’s probably all of u.s I just have been in a situation either sex was forced upon us or we were groped inappropriately or talk to you in a sexual manner.

that made us feel comfortable I am confident saying as a woman that there’s not one of us that has not experienced one of these things .

we may not be able to stop these things from happening to us that we can change the way we react to them. it is not our shame but we carry it like it is it’s time for us to stand up as one.

Put the shame and blame where it belongs and not on ourselves or each other. We as women can need go support each other more. Teach our duaghters to be femanise more inportantly teach our sons to be femanise.

Connect2divine And Gogreencanada

In this life before we can become the the Spiritual Beings we’re meant to be, there are many things inside ourselves that we have to face and deal with. we need to know what are the things that are holding us back from realizing our true potential there’s always been something holding us back from realizing this in ancient days the ability to survive it is said that you have to have all your means of survival Shelter food water basic needs a survival meant before you even can entertain the idea of who you truly are. in those parts of the world we have those things Meant For Us so what is holding us back I’m discovering your true potential as human beings? could it be those little devices that we hold on her hand and stare at all the time that we think we cannot live without? we are supposed to be the most connected generation ever but what we are the most disconnected from each other, disconnected from our souls. we are also busy watching funny cat videos , to see the person standing rite next to it little own help or service to them which is our true purpose in life to be of service to others to help each other to Guided each other. and this is what I am dedicating this website to

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more than one path

These are the thoughts come to me out of the blue that I think may be inspired.
I always is this my purpose? I guess the only way to find out is to proceed. I’ve been inspired to start a inward movement to meditation that affects the world beneficially.

only I could teach and had willing student to learned through meditation the chakras connection to our souls. The wisdom granted is awe inspiring. I try to keep my awe in god.

Sometime things spiral in of such clearity buut in a instant its gone. Your left with the inprint on your soul.

on that when Jesus said our bodies are temples. He was being literal, not figurative. The true is chakra are where yourSoul connection to your physcal body.

a true meaning will be told to us individually but is a group. if we Unite enter meditation and use the universal energy whether you want to call it the Holy Spirit God or Christ consciousness

the world can be healed is life lifetimes believing in lack in fear and doubt these things are very evil comes from accept the fact all we think all we fear, all we feel is not real except for love and the love of ourselves.

The love of our fellow brothers and sisters that is what evil is a lack of love if we learn to love and accept ourselves and others who we truly are. They truly recognize each other for who we really are not, not the shells and then use our minds to connect with the holy energy of the universe.

just think of what we could do but no one person no one consciousness least that I know of alive today to it truly achieve this.

only Jesus christ being of pure lite and love and through him. But We can be a catalyst for a chain reaction of events that saves us. all and now I wonder if the sum how is my purpose I’ve been praying and wondering about.

for a while if I had a purpose in life asking my soul’s for meditation. asking God supposed to start some sort of group Focus all our healing energy.

Focus love on all we knew all we loved, I alt we hated all who have hurt or hate us and love them.

I know this sounds like a fantasy but if enough people believe in the same fantasy just making it a reality quantum physics